Self-Care Shield Against Mommy Judgment
Self-Care can be the most amazing tool in your awesome mommy arsenal, and most mommy's don't even know it! The reason why it's the best tool you can have? Self-care has an amazing domino effect that ultimately leads to positive traits that then positively effect your life.
One way it can manifest itself is as a shield against judge-y eyes and snarky remarks whispered quietly as you walk away, or your perception that this is happening.
Let me explain.
My son inherited his outstanding stubbornness from both me and his father. So take your regular dose of stubbornness, concentrate it into a toddler, then multiple it by two. When he digs his feet in about something, it feels impossible to get him to do something otherwise. This has led to a power struggle on more than one occasion in the middle of grocery shopping, on our way out the department store, after the park...lots and lots of places, and these places all have an audience. It seems like I can always feel the eyes turn on me and my son in the middle of his melt down, their inquiring imaginary voices and raised eyebrows throwing darts of judgment my way. This is where self-care kicks in.
You see, I spend lot's of time reading on parenting blogs and books, continuing to better my skills as a mom. But I also spend time reassuring myself of my own worth, of my competence, and building into my self-esteem and self-love. My self-care routine has led into trusting myself and my decisions- when I trust myself and my decisions I can also trust in my choices as a parent.
I'm not perfect, but I can stand firmly in the knowledge that my son is loved and taken care of and I'm raising an awesome individual.
So when he's melting down in the store it's not because i'm a horrible mom. They can stare all they want- while it may be annoying I try my best not to let it have me waiver in my confidence as a parent. Even if my parenting style is radically different from their own, it doesn't make my parenting skills any less than their's.
Now, there are still moments, particularly when my son is putting on his best performance, when the staring or quick glances might usher me out of the building a little faster than normal, slightly embarrassed and frustrated, but it's much easier to bounce back from these feelings when i'm confident and trusting of myself. I don't linger in that moment and soak up those negative feelings. I'm able to let it go and move on. And it all starts with self-care.
So building up that confidence in yourself can immensely help your role as a mother. This is going to require you taking some "me" time in order to cultivate a strong sense of confidence and trust in yourself.
Some ways you can help build up that shield to block all those judge-y feelings
- Words of affirmation to yourself before the day starts
- Joining a group of women with similar parenting styles for reassurance and support
- Reminding yourself of things you've done to have a positive impact on your child(ren)
Thought of another way self-care has helped you in your motherhood journey? Drop a comment below and share :)