5 Ways to Connect With Your Mom Friend
After hanging out with a miniature human all day everyday, it’s only normal to crave some adult conversation. Like someone other than your child’s preschool teacher, husband and occasionally the passive aggressive mini chats with in laws. I mean friends; mom friends. Other mom’s who you hang out with. Those people.
Not only are mom friends great for maintaining your sanity when you’ve been answering Dora’s questions all day long, but these women are great for support systems- people you can vent to (but they still know how much you love your kids), women who are in the same boat as you so they understand….or maybe a different boat, which is refreshing. Moms who arrive with toddler stains on their jeans and a smile, kicking past alphabet blocks to embrace you in a huge, warm “thank God you’re here” hug.
Awww….now that’s the dream.
Unfortunately, making mom friends seems so dang hard. It’s almost like dating. There’s an awkward attempt at connection, if you get their number there’s the “should I call first...is it too soon?” time period, and if you make it to the first play date….there’s often nothing else after that. One park stand. Moms never seem to meet up again afterwards. So what’s a mom to do?
While there is never a 100%, step-by-step process to guaranteeing a mom friend for life, there are a few things you can do to increase your chances of maintaining and building an actual friendship that lasts for the long haul. It's all about connection.
Talk about things OTHER than the kids. Certainly discussing children is the most obvious thing to bond over, but don’t make it the sole focus of every single conversation. It’s nice to be reminded that there are other topics a mom can discuss besides 2% milk versus soy.
Make play dates AND mommy dates. Just like #1, it’s nice to connect over something other than the kids. So have fun at the play dates, but every once in awhile invite each other out for a kids free movie or a cup of coffee.
K.I.S.M Keep it simple mom. A mom’s time is precious and often scarce, so don’t expect a huge event every time you meet up. Sometimes a quick get together at Chick-fil-A will do.
COMMIT. There’s nothing more discouraging for moms then to make plans only to have someone cancel them over...and over...and over. Even if you wake up and don’t feel like going suddenly, most likely that feeling will disappear once you actually get there. If you’re the type to keep canceling eventually, you both will just stop trying.
Talk to EACH OTHER. This is a hard one. While on play dates it’s easy to get sucked into the trap of maintaining the children or interacting with them. But the play dates are for your children to play together and mommy’s to catch up. So give the little's their toys and leave them be and you and your mommy friend can have actual conversation.
And most importantly, keep trying. Just because it didn’t work out with one mom, doesn’t doom you to a life of loneliness. Keep putting yourself out there! Mom friends are important and it’s amazing when you have one! But just like any other relationship, they require work. :) But it’s certainly worth the effort.